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…You Might Be a Runner

By Elizabeth Jenkins

If you know you actually have two shoe sizes.

If you wish all your pants, shorts, skirts had a soft liner so you could go commando everyday.

 

If you use words like hydration, chafe, wick, race pace in everyday conversation.

If your legs are really tan, but your feet are super white.

If you put more miles on your running shoes in a week than you do on your car.

 

If you refrain from getting pedicures for fear the lady giving it might pass out at the sight of your feet.

If you shoot snot rockets with gusto and rejoice when you don’t have anything on your face after.

If you use the words “easy,” “run” and a 2-digit number in the same sentence.

If you know a ‘fartlek’ isn’t an insult.

If you are totally comfortable wearing shorts that are entirely too short for your gender.

You planned your wedding around your Summer race schedule.

If your calves are bigger than your biceps.

If you are willing to dig through the smelly dirty clothes hamper to find your favorite running shirt.

 

If when traveling, your suitcase is full with running stuff before you even start packing regular clothes.

If you have a shirt that says “Stop Pre”.

If your drawers are filed with more race shirts than regular shirts. Most of which you have never worn, and probably will never wear, but you keep them anyway.

If you have left socks and right socks.

 

If you drink more water than anyone you know and still have yellow pee.

If your cupboards are filled with gu, electrolyte supplements, protein shake mix and hundreds of water bottles.

If you have spare gels in every bag you own.

If you know charity “Fun Runs” are actually fun.

If you know 1, 3, and 5-mile routes from your house and work in every direction.

If you check the weather hoping it will rain on your run.

 

If you can eat an entire loaf of bread and not feel bad about it.

If you think it is appropriate to stretch in public places.

If you have diamond cut calves.

If ‘google maps’ or ‘map my run’ is bookmarked on your computer.

If you can’t wait to share your run stats with someone when you get done.

If you shave your legs, and you are a man.

If you know your running shoes are worn out, even if they look brand new.

If you talk to your bowels encouraging them to do their ‘thing’ before your run! -Lesli Jenks Groves

If sleeping in on a Saturday is anything past 6:30.-Asa Flynt Reynolds

 

If when boys get your number they save your name in their phone as “manda runner.” Yeah, NBD. -Amanda Theobald

If you judge others by their shoes instead of their clothes.-Dan White

If one of your favorite things about going out of town is running someplace new! -Tanya Semerad

If you have more shoes than your wife… and you have lost ALL of your toenails ~ Scott Dickey

If you are afraid to eat dairy products because you have a long run tomorrow. -Rendi Freimuth

 

 

 

 

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